if i didn't care

Here's my pitch for a hilarious sitcom about a woman who's spent her life preparing for work in the U.S. Foreign Service

Thu, 23 May 2013 21:23:59 -0400

So she’s top of her class in Latin American history and fluent in Spanish and Portuguese. She’s studied all aspects of Central and South American cultures, to the point where she can slip effortlessly in and out of any city or village with the simple, unobtrusive elegance of a spy.

On her final interview at the State Department, she’s informed of her assignment… IN YEMEN.

::record scratch sound::

“I have to cover my WHAT?”

isay: goodstuffhappenedtoday: Cleared of Charges of Setting Off...

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:56:00 -0400

isay: goodstuffhappenedtoday:

Cleared of Charges of Setting Off a School Explosion, Florida Honor Student Heads to Space Camp

Kiera Wilmot is going to space camp.

In late April, the 16-year-old central Florida honor student was accused of igniting a chemical explosion on school grounds, leading to her arrest and suspension from school, but authorities dropped criminal charges last week.

The nightmarish ordeal was shocking for her single mother, Marie Wilmot, who always encouraged Kiera and her twin sister, Kayla, to follow their passions.

“The initial phone call was terrifying,” Marie told ABC News. “Time will help I hope, it was devastating for me as a mother.”

While school officials debate whether Kiera will return to Bartow High School, the Wilmot family received an unexpected surprise.

The explosion struck a chord with 18-year NASA veteran Homer Hickam, a former lead astronaut training manager for Spacelab, and later for the International Space Station.

In the late 1950s, Hickam had a brush with law enforcement for allegedly starting a forest fire. State police came to his high school and led him and his friends away in handcuffs, but his high school physics professor and school principal came to the rescue, clearing him of wrongdoing.

Back then, schools did not have zero tolerance rules. Kids could make their mistakes without the threat of a criminal record, or serving time in jail.

“I couldn’t let this go without doing something,” Hickam said. “I’m not a lawyer, but I could give her something that would encourage her. I’ve worked closely with the U.S. Space Academy, and so I purchased a scholarship for her.”

Learning of her twin sister, Hickam raised enough money so Kiera and Kayla could attend space camp together. Hickam runs several scholarships for kids with potential, and hopes to create an ongoing Space Academy scholarship. The twins will attend in July.

TO THE MOON, ALICE.

No seriously, I want you to go to the moon.

"As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. The good news is, we..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:14:38 -0400

“As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. The good news is, we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves. Even our willingness to look at ourselves critically is often helpful.”

- Laurie Helgoe (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

evangotlib: alexblagg: Ken Cosgrove dancing + new DAFT PUNK =...

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:12:26 -0400

evangotlib:

alexblagg:

Ken Cosgrove dancing + new DAFT PUNK = my favorite thing right now.

Yeah this is pretty much the best thing you’ll see this week.

It’s basically why we’re all here.

theonion: Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing |...

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:09:09 -0400

theonion:

Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing | Full Report

“Le Gange, fleuve sacré de l’Inde” texte de Simon P.M....

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:22:28 -0400

“Le Gange, fleuve sacré de l’Inde” texte de Simon P.M. Mackenzie, photographies de Hitoshi Tamura. Robert Laffont, 1981.

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:22:19 -0400

sportsnetny: Brooklyn Cyclones: We just had a bit of a storm...

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:21:50 -0400

sportsnetny:

Brooklyn Cyclones: We just had a bit of a storm come through Coney Island.

h/t @AVSNY

"Sturgeon‘s law is usually expressed thus: 90% of everything is crap. So 90% of experiments in..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:15:00 -0400

“

Sturgeon‘s law is usually expressed thus: 90% of everything is crap. So 90% of experiments in molecular biology, 90% of poetry, 90% of philosophy books, 90% of peer-reviewed articles in mathematics – and so forth – is crap.”

“A good moral to draw from this observation is that when you want to criticize a field, a genre, a discipline, an art form …don’t waste your time and ours hooting at the crap.

”

- Intuition Pumps | Improbable Research (via kateoplis)

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 21:50:30 -0400

GPOYW, Ninja Rockstar ed. NB: NYC tartan

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:41:12 -0400

GPOYW, Ninja Rockstar ed.

NB: NYC tartan

So I noticed that Evan was delayed in Detroit and I thought,...

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:31:36 -0400

So I noticed that Evan was delayed in Detroit and I thought, Phew, at least I got my boss out on a different flight, because apparently I’m some kind of ninja rockstar. After discovering that she was in fact on the same delayed flight as he, this is the conversation that happened.

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:15:06 -0400

Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:04:38 -0400

Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.

thugkitchen: You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re...

Wed, 22 May 2013 10:12:55 -0400

thugkitchen:

You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re sipping on this tasty glass of general badassery. The antioxidant loaded in theses blackberries will make sure free radicals aren’t fucking up your day. And the bourbon? YOU EARNED THAT SHIT.

BLACKBERRY BOURBON FIZZ

5 blackberries

5 ice cubes

1 shot of bourbon

¾ cup cold ginger ale (none of that high fructose corn syrup, aspartame nonsense either. Get good shit that has fucking ginger root as an ingredient)

¼ cup cold club soda (optional)

Put the blackberries in the bottom of a tall glass and mash them around with a spoon. Keep some big chunks because it looks cool. Add the ice and then the bourbon, ginger ale, and club soda. I like adding club soda because it keeps it tasting refreshing as fuck but you can save some cash and just add more ginger ale. Garnish with fresh basil if you are trying to impress somebody.

Serves 1 but invite a fucking friend, no need to drink alone

We made this for our friend Dara over at Cosmo.com

So, they keep sending me this crap—ON PAPER—and...

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:56:46 -0400

So, they keep sending me this crap—ON PAPER—and I’m like FUCK. YOU. You’re “bundling” services I don’t want, don’t use, and don’t want to use. Just give us faster Internet. Fucking focus on one thing already. Jackasses.

Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings Relevant.

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:02:00 -0400

Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings

Relevant.

A Haiku by Jay Gatsby

Mon, 20 May 2013 20:42:07 -0400

caobello:

a haiku by jay gatsby

old sport old sport old
sport old sport old sport old sport
old sport old sport old

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:02:03 -0400

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:23:46 -0400